Can’t stop the jealousy, why do you hate to see, other people live well?

2022-04-25 0 By

A few days ago, I received a message from a friend backstage: “Whenever I see someone sharing his/her wonderful life on wechat, I feel very uncomfortable;It’s also frustrating to hear parents talk about a relative’s child getting a raise or promotion or landing a good job.Even see my lover promotion raise, can feel afflictive, am I psychological have a problem?”In fact, many people feel an invisible sense of pressure when they know that their peers or peers are doing better than they are.What is peer pressure?Psychology calls this “peer pressure.”Peer pressure, also known as peer pressure, refers to the psychological pressure we feel when we go against our true will in order to be accepted and accepted by our peers instead of being excluded.For example, in the seventh season of the variety show You Can Say Something.Feng xiaotong, a debater, said in response to the argument that “I should/should not chase after my peers who are better off than me,” “I fight so hard not because I want to win BB King, but because I am not as popular as other debaters of my age.It was the shame that kept me going through the long nights. It stayed with me.”And companions here are not just people around us, but people of our age, position, and environment.Even when it comes to people we hate, we feel peer pressure from them.For example, let’s say you have a classmate in your class who you never really liked.Upon graduation, you choose to get a job while he or she chooses to go to graduate school.When you accidentally learn from other students that he or she is admitted to graduate school, you will still feel uncomfortable and question whether your choice is right.Now that we are in the information age, we have access to more information about our peers through various media.Sometimes we are even forced to feel “peer pressure”.For example, the online news report “Salaries for class of 2021 released, 5-7K is mainstream”.And these stories sometimes automatically appear in the most prominent place on our web pages without us even searching for them.As a result, some graduates in the class of 2021 who earn less than 5-7K are forced to accept this message, creating pressure.In the past, we might only compare ourselves to a few dozen people in our lifetime.But now we can easily access hundreds or even thousands of people our age and situation on social platforms.Because we have more information, we find many excellent peers, and with it the illusion that we are the only ones who are not successful, while everyone else is.Under this delusion, many people feel depressed, depressed, and even depressed.Is it restricted by age and status?Each of us is in a group, so is the leader of the group still subject to peer pressure?In 2005, Allen et al found through a study that the most popular children in the group of teenagers bear more pressure.Because for them, they need to be “better than others” all the time.To cope with the “scrutiny” of others and avoid losing their leadership position.The same is true of age.The older we get, the more mature we become and the more objective we become about peer pressure.But that doesn’t mean that each of us can handle it rationally.For example, the famous Haidian District mother.Most of them are British and American returnees, their own cultural literacy is very high, and for themselves and their children are special fight.Therefore, many netizens jokingly said, “If the national football team is included in the college entrance examination, mothers in Haidian District will train their children to become world football stars and create miracles.””Peer pressure” plays a big role in the efforts of haidian district mothers.So what’s the antidote to peer pressure?The shift from an “I should” attitude to an “I need to pay more attention to myself.”For example, when you find out that all your peers are married, you become anxious and think “I should get married too”.But this “shoulds” feeling is caused by “peer pressure,” not what you really want.So your subconscious is very resistant, which leads to your pain.Murakami once said: “No matter what everyone in the world says, I think my feelings are right.No matter what other people think, I never break my rhythm.”Therefore, we should pay more attention to ourselves and rejoice in our little progress.Everyone’s energy is limited, so don’t assume you can be number one in every field.When we find ourselves wanting to beat others in several areas, we need to know what our hearts desire to achieve the most, in which areas we want to achieve the most.Next, prioritize your desires and direct your energy into the areas that have the highest priority.In this way, we are not so obsessed with comparing ourselves to our peers who are outstanding in different fields, thus reducing the majority of comparisons.We tend to compare ourselves to superior people.He especially likes to compare his own weaknesses with others’ strengths.But this comparison, we will never feel happy.As CAI Ming once said in “Wonderful Things” : “CAI Kangyong teacher, always smile, teach you the truth of life, he never deny you, do not hit you, such a CAI Kangyong teacher, how can I compare with him?It’s not comparable. Everyone’s good at something is different.”Therefore, we should have a variety of people to compare ourselves with so that we can more accurately assess our value and not always think ourselves inferior.For example, if the person who is second in class always compares himself to the person who is first in class, he or she will always feel inferior and will not be able to dwell on it for a long time.Either hate being number one or hate yourself.And then they do something extreme to make themselves worse.If he/she is constantly comparing himself/herself to the third best, then he/she will not be unsatisfied with his/her situation, but will become confident and motivated.Although “peer pressure” can sometimes make us miserable, it also has a good side.For example, it makes us more motivated to improve ourselves.So let’s not reject it, and let’s not assume that “peer pressure” arises because we are jealous, narrow-minded, and don’t see others as nice.What we really think is, “I want to be as good as them!”-END- Have trouble, want to talk about.Look for Herod.